A Letter To My Friend With BPD

HollyI promise to support each decision you make that betters your life and puts you on the track to success. I promise that I will not hold your diagnosis above your head, as I know so many people have done before me.

I promise to hold firm to the boundaries I have put in place to protect our friendship. I promise that I won’t ever try to fill the position of “favourite person” for you, because that will put too much strain on us. I promise to find ways to remind you of these boundaries and the reason that they are there in the first place (to make sure we’re friends forever, not to make you feel abandoned).

I promise to listen actively to your fears, your hopes, and your journey. I promise to make an effort to eliminate distractions (like my phone) when we hang out so that I can be present and aware of everything you are saying. I will be that person who answers the phone at midnight when you’re struggling and in a dark place. I will make you feel heard.

I will continue to educate myself on your diagnosis so that I can be informed and aware of what is going on.

I promise to call you out when you’re trying to “push and pull” in our relationship. I promise that I will be your forever friend, even if that means I can’t always be directly involved in your life.

I promise that I will push you to do things outside of your comfort zone, but I will never force you to do anything that may hurt you (or cause you a panic attack). And, I will hold your hand firmly if you’re too afraid to do something alone.

I will never make threats or ultimatums, and I will never back you into a corner and make you feel powerless. I have heard your story, and I try my hardest to make sure that I do not make you feel the way you have felt in the past.

I will always love you, no matter what you do. Even if you slip backwards, I will be there with a hand extended to pull you back. Even if you’re having a rough day and you try to push me away, I will take a step to the side, but I will not abandon you. Not today, not tomorrow, not a year from now, not ever.

And, I challenge you to try your damn hardest to push through and continue with getting the help that you deserve. I love you the most.

One Comment Add yours

  1. This made me cry, but in a good way! I have never had a friend or someone in my life like yourself to support me, push me and you believe in me no matter what my past or diagnosis says. I love you so much and so glad that I have had the privilege to be apart of your life. I’m one lucky person to have you apart of mine. Thank you for this , I really needed it ❤️


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